Changes this holiday season

This year we’ve opted for simple changes in which values are instilled rather than society’s view of consumerism and that of self. Our children are getting older and it is our hope to be an example to them even in the manner of finances, gift giving and the true spirit of the season.

The day after Thanksgiving, Chris the kids and I had a family breakfast (from Mc Donalds) at home. We each took turns to give thanks and both my children were grateful for “a family who loves them.” At the end of the meal we made sure that the children were aware that giving thanks is not just a one day celebration but rather giving thanks is a lifetime commitment.

I for one believe that it is important to be grateful for not only the present and the future, it is of greater value when we can look back and remember those that have made a difference in our lives whether they still take part in our lives as well as the circumstances and experiences that have allowed us to mature. This from a person who also believes in severing all ties. I certainly have grown.

In regards to gift giving. All year Chris and I have planned to purchase the Wii as a “family gift” so that we can use it for “family time”. We have decided along with the kids that it is not practical. Spending $400 for “family time” is such a ridiculous thought after all. Though the practicality of it all played a part in our decision, what gave us a change of heart was my husband. A cause close to his heart after five years of wanting to make a difference yet not knowing how found its way to us. God answered our simple whisper. It is amazing! Most of our shopping money will go there a long with time that will be invested. The children are thrilled but I on the other hand find myself misty eyed because they are learning that life is best lived when we give up of ourselves. They’re taking after their father…that is true joy for this mother’s heart.

The spirit of the holiday season is not just for a season. Lesson learned.

Parenting and the Cruzes

Many parents brag about how smart, talented, cute and sweet their children are. You’re a parent so by all means, you must be entitled. These parents even have their children perform “tricks.” I’m sure you’ve seen them, “anak sing your ABC’s,” or “what color is this?” and even “what’s the opposite of?” I’m so not impressed! Tough critic I know. Most children can be taught such things otherwise we would have really stupid adults!

Chris and I make a conscious effort not to be like those parents. I blog a lot about my kids but I don’t brag. In blogs it’s up to you to read about it whereas if you’re talking to someone about your child or having your child “perform” right there and then, you don’t give people much of an option. Their only choice is to be polite. Our reason for wanting to be different? Well, such criterias are subjective. We would rather not impose our views about our kids on other people because we would much rather have them experience and see for themselves. For such reasons, other parents are very curious as to how we raise our kids. We answer questions accordingly and people are often surprised by what we share and what they see.

With that said, the one thing I would consider bragging about after 7 years of parenting is that my children make good choices, they have a conscience and they never lie. Such observations have been confirmed through other people thus making it a valid boast according to my standards :p

Building their character above anything else has been my goal. The attainment of that goal was evident when they turned three and in more recent times have been exercised further in their school environment. I am beyond proud. I can only hope and pray that such qualities will continue as they enter their teens and even through adulthood. I never request perfection. I only ask for honesty, good choices, reasons as to why such choices were made (good or bad) and that each of them learn from their mistakes and move forward.

Tonight at the Cruz residence, I saw Mr. Kai’s character being developed. Through simple observations, I saw what a wonderful job his Mama and Papa are doing. I have to give credit where credit is due. You guys are doing the best you can and it is evident.

I’m reminded that when I was a “paranoid newbie mom,” it was Chelly who shared with me the importance of building my children’s character. I’ve taken it to heart. No surprise that they are doing the same thing with Mr. Kai.

Another milestone

As of yesterday, Santa has become a tale in our household. The kid’s themselves suggested that the idea of Santa has got to be false, stating that the weather in the North Pole would make it impossible to maintain a toy factory. Based on realism, as my genius of a son discussed, all evidence leads to the fact that Santa is not real. They also concluded that Daddy and Mommy run to the store at night to buy presents and place them on their beds ready for Christmas morning. So accurate! That is exactly what Chris and I do on Christmas Eve. We rush to the stores in search of the perfect last minute “Santa Gift”. A tradition we have come to enjoy but will become a mere memory this year.

Of course we agreed. I’ve been prepared for this moment for some time now. I shared that just as they fantasized and believed that once JC was truly Buzz Lightyear and Mika was “Nowhite,” it is the same with Santa. They believed because they were at the age of make believe. They got the point!

It may seem like any other revelation to many but in Child Development this is a milestone worth celebrating. Their cognitive ability has reached a level of maturity. The age of fantasy is almost at its end. A reality all normal children will face and a bittersweet realization for the mommy who is truly aware of what is happening developmentally.

They made the connection!

The beginning of craziness ends here

It has been a long summer and an even longer week. The kids and I started school. As with any transition, it has been challenging, more so for myself than my little ones.

Just today hubby and I evaluated my obstacles. We came to the conclusion that it’s not school at all that is difficult but rather it’s what occurs before and after school that brings about fatigue.

I attempt to begin my day at six a.m. when my evening ends at one in the morning. My intent is simply to cook a well balanced breakfast that we can sit down to as a family. It’s the only meal we can share being that hubby works during dinner and the kid’s are not home for lunch. Though it’s easy to pour milk and cereal, I opt for something healthier rich in fiber, protein and different everyday. After breakfast I also prepare a brown bag lunch for the kids. Not just sandwich but again a meal which includes the food groups. That alone is my first 2 hours followed by my mornings in school and afternoons with the hubby.

The real job begins when my little ones are home. Constant training, reminding, quality time, snacks, homework, dinner, baths, answering unending questions those are my greatest tasks everyday. It seems simple enough but the reality of it is that things have to give but never will it be my husband and my children. Being a wife and mother continues to take precedence.

At this time it means school is not a priority, though it is a step in providing something Chris and I desire for our children. Not a house, not a College Education but rather a Christian Education within the next few years. That’s the driving force behind my studies. I desire to study hard but never at their expense.

When Chris and I chose this life we stood by our decision. Sometimes the choices were not wise but we have always put family first. The sacrifice continues. Isn’t that what marriage, parenthood and unconditional love is all about?

I often ask myself, when everything is said and done, what will they give worth? The answer cannot be more clear. That is my motivation.

Routines and Meals

Being that I was a mom of two by the time I was 22, I have a bit more experience in raising kids than the average 30 year old. By default I’m the “go to” mom amongst my friends. Lately my friends with babies, toddlers and those entering Kindergarten have been soliciting advice regarding schedules and meals.

With regards to schedules, I go by a schedule but not a minute to minute sort of thing. My family functions on routine and we certainly malfunction when we fail to meet our daily standard. More often than not our regimen works.

Here is our summer schedule. Items in italic change to School Hours in the Fall and our day then begins at 6:45 and ends at 7:30p.m.

Monday – Friday, 8:00 a.m. – 8:00 p.m.

• 8a.m. Rise and Shine
• Breakfast
• Bath
• Free Play
• Snack
• 12:30 p.m. Lunch
• Exercise your Brain (Reading, Arts and Crafts)
• Snack
• Outdoor Play
• Television
• 6 p.m. Dinner
• One hour at Grandma’s
• 7:15 p.m. Bath
• Grace and Manners Story Time
• Prayer
• 8: 00 p.m. Bed Time

This routine began when JC was two. It is not set in stone nor is it guaranteed that it will work for all families. I tell my friends to consider that I’m a homemaker and my husband is with me in the morning. Team work is a contributing factor to its success.

As far as meals. It has been a learning process. Living with my mom the first four years was difficult because we had to eat whatever was set before us. My kid’s love authentic Filipino dishes. I make a healthy alternative for them. For chicken dishes I prefer chicken breast. For dishes that include vegetables, I add plenty of veggies. I’m in the process of weaning them from white rice. We have gone organic but not fully. The meats are certainly costly but we have ways in which we prioritize what needs to be organic and stick to our $300 grocery budget.

• Milk – MUST be organic
• Vegetables and Fruits – those we don’t peel MUST be organic.
• Chicken and Turkey – not necessarily organic but cage free and from California farms.
• Beef – not organic but lean
• Condiments – all organic
• Wheat – all organic

My recipes are from

• South Beach Diet
• Deceptively Delicious
• Wholefoods.com

We shop at

• Trader Joe’s
• Henry’s Market – Corona but they will soon open in Monrovia
• Costco

Snacks consist of fruits 3 times a day, veggies and whole grain.

New revelations as I venture 30

The big 3 – 0. Another year older. Three decades wiser.

Family: In my 20’s family was defined as everyone blood related. Everyone blood related was whom I attempted to please. Now I know that family is Chris, JC and Mika. Family is what matters. There’s no pleasing relatives when family takes precedence and that’s okay.

Friendships: Plenty of time was invested in friends during my 20’s. Many have come and gone.

At 30, those I consider “friends” are those who have seen my personal growth, my life’s challenges and remained with me through it all. They are the ones who encourage rather than judge. They are the ones who give so much of themselves with their time and effort without expecting anything in return. With them I know who I am and where I stand. I hope each of them realize how much they’re loved, appreciated and valued. Thank you for making my 30th Birthday a special one.

Priorities: In my 20’s I had plenty. Being a wife, mother, teacher, student, daughter, daughter-in-law, housework, unattainable perfection, list after list.

At 30 I am aware that the term “priorities” did not exist. Its original form is PRIORITY. In the Latin definition; to take precedence, something deserving, with no competing alternatives. Culture has watered down the actual meaning and changed the word to plural.

How many priorities can a person have if indeed there are to be no competing alternatives? Family, career, money, a house? Which would be regarded as first, before and deserving? Why? I would be foolish to consider any of the latter.

At 30 Christ is who I desire to be first in my life. He is before everything else and He alone is deserving. With Christ there is no competition so long as I am secure in Him. In Christ, everything else is temporary. I hope to seek first His kingdom and truly Love the Lord God with all my heart because He alone brings purpose and meaning.

Now that I have my “priority straight,” I am also very much aware of my task. It is to simply love my husband and my children. Although everything shall perish, I believe that the family relationship is not just a blessing for today but for all generations. That is my goal as a wife and mother. This is why I often say “my hope is to impact eternity.”

It may seem the same. Crispina, a wife and mother. At 30 it is still the greatest privilege the Lord has bestowed upon me. What began as a curse in Genesis, God not only made beautiful but purposeful.

What Style Mom are You?

From Parenting.com

http://www.parenting.com/article/Mom/Work–Family/your-mothering-style/3

The know-thyself mother (INFJ)
Sensitive and family-focused, the INFJ mother encourages the unique potential of each child. Her aim is to help her kids develop a sense of identity, and she seeks a free exchange of feelings and thoughts to that end. In fact, she may value the mothering experience as a catalyst to her own personal growth. She is conscientious and intense, as well. Probably no one takes child-raising more seriously than the INFJ. She approaches it as a profession requiring her best self.
Stay-sane tip: Make time for yourself, try to live in the moment, and take life a little less seriously. Instead of trying to make life what it “should be,” enjoy it for what it is.

And I so agree.

Double Shift

My hubby’s usually off from work at 11:30 p.m. He decided to do a double shift tonight. He’ll be home tomorrow morning at 7:30 a.m.

The kids and I miss him terribly. We decided to camp out in our living room just to make the evening a bit bearable.

Chris and I have been on gmail for a good 2 and 1/2 hours. Absence really does make the heart go fonder. I wanted to preserve this part of our conversation

ME: kids are still up asking for a snack. i refused. they’re so off (their 8 p.m. bedtime schedule). am i being cruel? the reason their hungry is because they’ve been in their room for 2 hours just talking.

HUBBY: well it’s ok for them to be off because they really don’t have anything better to do aside from swim plus they’ll keep u company for a few hours

ME: so you think i should feed them?

HUBBY: have a snack with them feed them veggies and watch them run to their room especially mik

ME: done. i decided to sleep in the living room w/ the kids. i don’t like being alone.

HUBBY: i bet they love that

ME: oh yeah. i told them “daddy said it’s okay to let you have a snack” they jumped. they told me to e-mail you “thank you daddy”

HUBBY: hahahah tell them i said welcome good nite and i love u

ME: jc says “we love you too” mika’s practically sleeping already. that was just 5 minutes

HUBBY: see i told u lol

ME: i know. you know them so well. i’m very impressed.

Through this brief e-mail conversation I came to the realization that Chris and I truly balance one another, we work well as a team, he knows the children just as well as I do, even in e-mail we are a loving family and lastly Mika knocks out within 5 minutes so long as she’s really sleepy.

Even in small moments I feel very blessed.

My boy

From Xanga to WordPress and even Flickr, I post plenty about my daughter. The reason is simple, she is indeed a character. The best of her Daddy mixed with Mommy’s attitude. She’s a very funny girl.

My son from the very beginning was serious and mature for his age. He didn’t speak a word until he was two. Once he began to speak, everything was in complete sentences. He’s always been a thinker, a builder and a planner. A puzzle genius at two and a Lego fanatic up to this moment.

JC is a perfectionist by nature. I have to constantly remind him that it’s okay to fail, so long as you try your best. That’s still a process because he excels in plenty. It is understandable how parents desire for their children to shine but I for one believe that there is the same importance in failure and we have teach this to our children so that they will know how to handle life’s circumstances.

If I had to give labels I would say that my son is the “sensitive” one. He writes me letters (phonetically) like

Dear Momy,

I’m very sorry for

wakeing you up in the middle of the night.

Love, JC <3

He is quick to apologize, kind and responsible. Only a year older than his sister, he knows his roles as Kuya. A true gentleman like his Daddy. He opens the car door for me and his sister. He believes in “ladies first”… well sometimes. My baby boy, so very sweet, yet he throws a football like a natural, has karate kicks that can injure and swims with no fear.

Character and qualities a mother can be proud of yet truly bittersweet. You see, I have a son and a daughter. A mother – daughter bond is for always. My son, well he’s the one I am nurturing knowing that he is also the one that will leave me. My responsibility as a mother is to teach him how to stand on his own so that when he takes a bride he can stand with his wife and children. The training begins now. All this time, effort and love to be invested with the intent of parting ways.

I love my children equally and differently. JC is my boy, my first born and the first one who will leave me. Bittersweet indeed.

We are not to raise our children for our own pleasure for this moment in time. There’s a bigger plan in a grander scale yet it all begins with what we do in our home.

A new yet very familiar adventure

Our story begins with a very small possibility. A “maybe you are ” and a “let’s check anyway.”

With my first two pregnancies I knew the answer before the test was taken. The setting on the evening of July 1st was unfamiliar in that the likelihood of a negative was much greater than that of a positive. Sure enough, my suspicion was accurate. I tested negative.

To my surprise I was saddened as opposed to relived by the expected revelation but more so in disbelief by hubby’s reaction. The term disappointed is far from precise. The hope of a joyful “maybe” was succeeded by sadness. That’s when I knew that after three years of planning Chris and I are now willing and prepared to undergo parenthood a third time.

In order to occupy ourselves to get past the expected yet sad occurrence, Chris decided to steam our carpet while I desired comfort food. Hubby obliged and he ordered the manager’s special at Pizza Hut (2 pizzas, wings and potato balls). We then took a box of Pizza to the kid’s room and surprised them with a mini party. They jumped out of bed both confused because it was 11 p.m., way past their 8:00 bedtime and happy being that it was past their bedtime and we were having a Pizza Party.

To our children it was a simple pleasure to be off schedule. To Chris and I, it was a celebration of what we already have…one another, challenges that allows us to call upon the Lord and blessings that reveal God’s grace, mercy and worth.

Along with the present we celebrated our future and what we hope to add to our family of four. As my title states it is a new yet very familiar adventure. Stay tuned!